Fiver says I'm going to live forever

Sometimes you don't know whether to laugh or cry with (or should this be "at"?) the British tabloids. Daily Express, in between stories about conspiracies and cover-ups surrounding the death of Lady Di, and alarmist news about house prices and mortgage rates, has brought us this bombshell of news from the world of medical research.

Aspirin is good for you, and DE claims that new research shows it can "work miracles". Nothing short of a miracle suffices, as I've always thought we are all going to eventually die. It now seems that this inevitability can now be changed, just by eating aspirin. I wonder if aspirin helps in avoiding the other inevitability, taxes? I'm sure Express will be the first to run the story, as soon as the Miracle Research Council -funded project has been completed.

(Pic: Daily Express front page 27.3.2007)